Winter Beginnings Read online

  ‘I just …’ Dean floundered, lost in the conversation, and the thoughts and memories of two completely different women. ‘It’s hard to explain.’

  ‘Oh, for god’s sake!’ The kitchen door flew open and Liv strode out, her hands thrown over her head in agitation. She stalked to the bar, slapped her palms down on the wood and leaned forward. ‘Alice kissed Dean. No doubt Dean had no idea it was coming and bungled it. He’s been puzzling over it since yesterday—are you guys blind? And today when he went to the school Lana kissed him because she’s had a thing for him for years and lately … well, lately he’s been less of a widower and more of a bachelor, if you get my meaning.’

  No-one spoke.

  Cal looked over his shoulder. ‘Have you been listening in this whole time?’ When she angled her chin defiantly, he grinned and dragged her into his arms. ‘Babe, you were born to be part of a small town.’

  The front door opened and closed again.

  ‘Is all that true?’ Ethan asked Dean.

  Dean couldn’t think how to respond before another body joined the group.

  ‘Wow, lucky me! All my favourite people in the same room—what are the chances?’ Sam came up alongside Ethan, propped her elbows on the bar and leaned forward. ‘What are we talking about? And can I have a serve of fries, Cal?’

  ‘Fries can wait,’ her brother answered. He gave Liv a dirty look. ‘You called Sam?’

  ‘Immediately.’

  Sam said, ‘You should have called me. This is big news! Dean kissed a girl and he liked it!’ She said this in the same sing-song voice Cal had, and Dean had to laugh. The pair shared curious similarities, including a very strange sense of humour.

  ‘Dean kissed two girls,’ Liv said with an enormous smile.

  Sam almost knocked Ethan off his bar stool as she lunged forward to grab Dean’s arm. ‘Really? Talk about getting back out there! In the one day? Who and who? One was Alice, right?’

  Dean cleared his throat. So much for a quiet word with Cal. ‘I didn’t kiss anyone. Alice kissed me a few days ago—’

  ‘Yes!’ Sam crowed. Ethan held up a hand and she slapped her palm against it.

  ‘—and yes,’ Dean continued, ‘I liked it. And then Lana kissed me.’

  ‘Ten minutes ago,’ Cal supplied.

  ‘Wow.’ Sam blinked at Liv then looked back at Dean. ‘You wearing a new cologne or something?’

  ‘Okay, enough.’ Dean seized his soft drink before Liv could drink it. She was already sucking down her second of the three her fiancé had poured. ‘I didn’t want to kiss Lana. That came out of nowhere.’ He pointedly ignored Sam’s rolled eyes and Liv’s disbelieving snort. ‘But I’d been thinking about Alice that way before she kissed me.’

  Liv drained her drink and plonked the glass on the sink. ‘So what’s the problem?’

  They’d arrived at the moment of truth. Dean swallowed, rallied himself, then said, ‘Has it been long enough?’

  No-one hurried to answer.

  Eventually, his brother ventured a response. ‘Have you been alone long enough? Have you put everyone else before yourself for long enough? Yes.’ He waited for this to sink in before continuing. ‘Don’t focus on whether you’ve grieved for long enough or what other people might say. Not everybody gets a second chance, and if your heart’s telling you you’re ready, then you are. Don’t overcomplicate things.’

  Sam closed her arms around Ethan’s shoulders and hugged him tightly from behind. She kissed his head and smiled. ‘I love it when you get all deep. You’ve got all the words.’

  ‘Do you really like Alice or do you just want to kiss her again?’ Liv asked Dean.

  ‘I want to kiss her again because I really like her.’

  The two women nodded.

  ‘You need to tell her about Lana,’ Ethan said. ‘Otherwise she’s going to hear it from someone else.’

  Dean nodded slowly. ‘Can anyone babysit three kids tonight?’

  Ethan glanced at Sam. ‘We can?’ She nodded.

  Dean rose from the bar stool, smiled at each of them then turned for the door. If he got back to the garage fast enough, he might be able to head off the gossip and spare Alice any hurt feelings. Because if he was going to fight with her about anything, it was over who was paying for dinner tonight.

  Chapter 19

  Alice stapled the credit receipt to the service record as Shauna Faulconer spoke into her phone, discussing with a friend the latest news in the lives of Denman locals. Alice wasn’t listening closely, and kept glancing over Shauna’s shoulder to see if Dean was back from his inordinately long lunch.

  She hadn’t been able to get yesterday out of her mind.

  The generosity of it all. The thoughtfulness. The love he had for those in his life and the beautiful ways in which he surprised her. She couldn’t lie to him anymore. She knew his character enough now to guess that he’d be concerned rather than unsupportive, and she doubted he’d make her choose when she explained her situation. Or rather, she hoped he wouldn’t.

  It was still a risk—her previous boss at the country real estate agency proved that—but she had to believe Dean would stand by her. It would be nice to tell him she wasn’t a depressive, and to explain why she hadn’t accepted any of his invitations to dinner. It would be even better to not be keeping secrets from him.

  A small, hopeful part of her believed that the truth would bring them closer.

  As Alice thought about the best way to approach the topic with Dean, Shauna’s conversation went from juicy to downright scandalous. ‘We all know she’s had a thing for him for years,’ she said into the phone, ‘but I must admit I hadn’t suspected her affections were returned! Yet there they were, brazen as they come, kissing in the front seat of Dodge’s car!’

  Alice dropped the hand she’d extended towards Shauna. The receipt fell soundlessly to the desktop.

  ‘Cathy O’Hara called me not five minutes ago! Apparently, Lana went back into school and Dean went to the pub. Guess he’s over his wife then, the poor soul.’ Shauna picked the receipt up, waved it gratefully at Alice then turned and walked out. As the door closed behind her, Alice heard her say, ‘Hearts are going to break, Sue. There were a lot of women in town waiting for that man to stop moping around—’

  Alice didn’t move. Behind her, the clock ticked out of sync with her heart. The whir of tools in the garage sounded vaguely like screams, and the office was somehow both chilly and stifling.

  She sat there, startled, for close to a minute before a Hyundai sedan turned into the driveway and parked. Dean got out, closed the door and strode around the bonnet, and the bastard was smiling.

  Her heart hadn’t been at his feet for more than twenty-four hours and he’d already kicked it into the wall.

  She turned away quickly, thinking to hide in the storeroom, but when she remembered what had happened in there, she stopped. Now she was turned vaguely in that direction, still rooted to the spot, her head empty of clever, brave words.

  Dean stepped inside and his smile widened. ‘Hey, Alice. Did you have a good lunch?’

  Not as good as yours. ‘I haven’t had it yet.’

  ‘You’re leaving it late.’ He checked his watch. ‘You want to go now?’

  ‘Okay.’ An exit, a reprieve. A chance to decide what she was going to do about this, now that her fledgling hopes had evaporated into vapour.

  ‘Listen, before you go and while we’re talking about food …’ He crossed the reception area and stood opposite her, the desk between them. ‘Can I take you to dinner tonight? Like a date? Ethan said he can take all the kids for a few hours.’

  Wow. Lunch with Lana. Dinner with Alice. Had he met someone for breakfast?

  ‘No,’ she said. She grabbed the straps of her handbag and dragged her car keys from a side pocket. She needed to put a lot of distance between them, immediately.

  Dean’s smile dropped. ‘Just no? No “I wish I could, but”, no “how about tomorrow night”?’

 
‘Just no.’ Her voice was calm, but in her mind she was screaming at him, raging and accusing and demanding to know why he’d let her fall for him. This wasn’t how the story was supposed to go—she’d been ready to tell him her secrets and yet here he was, keeping his own, not realising that she knew.

  Temper flashed in Dean’s typically friendly brown eyes. ‘What is it then, Alice? You see enough of me at work, is that it? You’re trying to let me down gently, or what?’

  Alice rounded the desk and walked quickly to the door. He was standing much closer and beat her there.

  ‘You know, I’d think you weren’t interested, except you kissed me the other day!’

  She tried to reach the doorhandle but he blocked her way. ‘That was a mistake,’ she said.

  The words appeared to lash at him. Visibly less certain, he said quietly, ‘Really?’

  ‘Apparently.’

  This brought his temper back. ‘What does that even mean? Give me more than a single word, Alice!’

  ‘Okay! It means I’m not free for dinner tonight, or tomorrow night, or any night, which clears your schedule right up for Lana. Get out of my way!’

  Dean didn’t move. He did, however, sigh with relief. She wanted to smack the grin clear off his face.

  ‘Christ, this town is unbelievable! And you’re jealous!’ This appeared to please him, which worsened her mood considerably. ‘Which means you do care, you infuriating woman. I went to see Nina at lunch, Lana got in the car and kissed me.’

  ‘I know all this!’

  ‘She kissed me! And you know how well I handle that sort of thing!’

  Alice attempted to reach around him for the doorhandle, but this time he didn’t block her—he seized her. One hand gripped the material over her hip and the other curled around the back of her neck, and then she was breathing him in.

  He kissed her, and Alice was lost.

  All sensible thought abandoned her, all protests died in her throat and there was only his chest against hers, his hands on her body and his greedy, perfect mouth.

  And then there was suddenly none of those things.

  Dean made a startled noise in the back of his throat and drew away from her. The door had opened and hit his feet. Dean turned and Alice looked over his shoulder. There was a man standing on the other side of the glass, and he had already recovered from his surprise. Grinning, he pointed at the garage roller door.

  ‘I’ll just go around,’ he said, loud enough for his voice to carry through the door. He was already pulling a phone from his pocket.

  Alice stepped back, putting enough space between her and Dean that he could no longer reach her.

  She didn’t want to be tangled up in this love triangle the town would soon be talking about, nor did she want her son to hear gossip about his mum. If the majority of Denman seemed to know about Dean and Lana in less than half an hour, how long until everyone found out about Alice and Dean?

  ‘Does Lana know about me?’ she asked.

  He hesitated. ‘I didn’t mention you by name.’

  The very private moment Alice had instigated in the storeroom had led to something bigger than she had the capacity for at the moment. She hadn’t expected to fall for her boss, and she hadn’t expected to be the next town headline.

  This was all too much.

  She thought about giving this job away and working harder at the other, safer one, but immediately pushed that idea aside. Her other job kept her away from Ben, and left him to take care of himself for hours each night. If any job was going, it was that one. She needed this job, its hours and its proximity to the school. So whatever the cost, she would make this work.

  The obvious solution was to keep away from Dean Foster.

  Alice lifted her chin and pushed her hair back from her face. ‘Please don’t do that again,’ she said, referring to the kiss. ‘I don’t want to be involved in all of this; I don’t want all the drama. We tried it, but the timing’s off. Please, let’s just forget it.’

  Head down, she left through the garage door, not waiting for his response.

  * * *

  Dean spent the rest of the afternoon away from the reception of Foster’s Garage. He helped Ethan finish the new window, sanded and painted the frame, and stopped himself from looking towards the door every time he thought about Alice. He was so absorbed in his feelings of disappointment and irritation that he was only made aware of the time when the kids charged into the garage. Ro and Neenz went to Ethan who was washing paintbrushes in the corner sink, and Ben joined Dean by the window.

  ‘Hey, champ. How was school?’

  ‘Okay. Can I help?’

  Dean glanced down at the sponge in his hands. ‘I’m not doing car stuff this arvo, sorry.’

  ‘That’s okay. I can do this.’

  Dean laughed. ‘Actually, I’m about done. Marty might still be going with his tune-up if you want to check that out. Regular sedan, but you might learn something.’

  ‘I want to do what you’re doing.’

  ‘You’re going to need to start leaving some work clothes here, kiddo.’

  Ben’s eyes widened. ‘Could I?’

  Dean glanced at the door that separated him from the woman on his mind, then aimed a significant look at Ben. ‘We’ll have to see what your mum says.’

  Undeterred, Ben nodded. He looked over at Ethan and Rowan, side by side at the sink, and his expression became serious. ‘Do you think when we grow up we’ll be like you guys?’

  Dean deciphered this, then clarified, ‘You and Ro like me and Ethan?’

  ‘Yeah. He could do the wood and I could do the cars and we could be like brothers.’

  Dean swallowed. From where he was standing—on the concrete his grandfather had worked on, in front of a window that signified a new beginning—it was a lovely picture to imagine. One that might happen, if Alice and Ben stuck around.

  ‘And if I was here,’ Ben continued, ‘and Rowan was there—’ he pointed over his shoulder in the direction of Ethan’s workshop, ‘—then Neenz would only have to send postcards to one address.’

  Dean wiped a smudge of paint off the wall. ‘Postcards?’

  ‘From Paris. She saw a movie today and she’s going.’

  Dean nodded. ‘Cool. What movie?’

  ‘Dunno. Lay something.’

  ‘Lay something?’

  ‘She keeps saying lay.’

  Dean laughed and shook his head. He turned when Cal and Liv shouted greetings from behind him. Ethan had called them to let them know he and Dean were about to do the big unveil, and Cal had been happy to leave Rosie in charge at the pub so they could come down to watch. Sam was working at the yard and couldn’t get away, but had asked to be called when it was happening.

  To those not in the know, it probably seemed a silly thing to gather for, but Dean’s nearest and dearest knew this was a milestone. The Foster brothers were making this place their own, and in doing so, putting the past behind them.

  Cal and Liv paused to say hi to Alice, who had just stepped out of the office, then walked over to where Ethan and the kids were drying paintbrushes on old towels.

  Dean hadn’t seen Alice since she’d left him confused and alone in the reception area—the sight of her did dramatic things to his body.

  Denial and impatience reigned in his bloodstream. She was wrong about so many things—about his wanting Lana, about the timing being off for them. She was probably right about the drama, but that was the cost of getting involved with someone within this community. Yet if now wasn’t the right time for them to try, when was?

  He was done waiting. He’d been out of action, disengaged and unaffected by a single woman since Bree had passed away, yet Alice had changed all of that simply by walking into his garage.

  He wasn’t kidding himself that being with her would fix everything, and he wasn’t pretending that he had all the answers, but instinct told him that she was supposed to be in his life. Without having spent much time with her outside of w
ork, without having dated her or slept with her or even seen inside the house where she and Ben lived, he knew that they were a match. It would never be enough to merely work with her. Friendship wouldn’t be enough.

  He wanted to be closer to Alice and Ben. There was room at his kitchen table for both of them, and, if they would allow it, room in his heart.

  Good lord, was Dean in love with her?

  She walked towards them, jacket on, handbag hanging from the crook of her arm, and Dean knew he was. She was bright and beautiful, compassionate and sweet. And somewhere between barely being able to tolerate him and wanting to kiss him in dark storerooms. This was too wide a scope of feelings for him to have any idea where he stood with her.

  Ben’s shoulders slumped when he saw his mum approaching. Deflated, he said, ‘Can’t we stay a little longer?’

  ‘No. C’mon, let’s go.’ Her voice was friendly but firm, and Ben seemed to know enough not to argue. He hung his head, called goodbyes to everyone, and walked out to the car. Alice crossed her arms over her body and tried to smile. He thought he saw sadness in her eyes, and the dark circles beneath them were more pronounced in this light. ‘See you on Monday,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Okay.’

  And then she walked out, taking the Friday night plans he’d hoped for with her.

  Dean scowled at the floor as he contemplated his next move.

  Liv came over, her expression sympathetic, and gently touched his arm. ‘Sounds like Sam-I-Am’s off babysitting duty.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘You should go after her.’

  ‘After Alice? This isn’t a rom-com, Liv.’

  ‘Meaning what? People only get happy-ever-afters in movies?’ Thrusting a thumb against her chest, she said, ‘I got Cal, didn’t I? And Ethan got another chance with Sam.’

  ‘But you guys wanted each other.’

  Liv shook her head. ‘Alice wants you so much she can’t think straight.’

  Dean felt adrenaline stir within his veins. His heartbeat slowly kicked into a higher tempo. ‘Then what do I do about it?’

  Liv shrugged. ‘I dunno. The big gesture’s different for everyone.’